Right now my life and the world I’m living in is hectic, crazy and extremely busy!!!
My father-in-law passed away the beginning of the summer. It’s true when they say that death brings out the ugly in people. So much bickering, fighting, greediness, etc. going on in the family. It’s so ridiculous!!! Tearing the family apart, not what Mom and Dad wanted!!!!! Mom passed away 5 years ago and I believe she was the glue that held the family together. I am standing by my husband and supporting him ALL the way through this mess! The unfortunate thing is that when all this is over and the estate is settled there will be no family Christmas or any other holiday with everyone there. We will celebrate with very few.
I am also going through a lot with my family. My mom was diagnosed with dimentia shortly before my father-in -law passed. My Aunt has supported me through it all and is on my side. My sisters are another story! The oldest one is in denial and is now no longer welcome in my home and we no longer speak with each other. My other sister supports me on some things and not on others. (I think it depends on the day.)
I have the unfortunate task of being the one to have my mother declared mentally incompetent. My other sisters don’t want the responsibility or just not a suitable candidate to have power of attorney and make the decisions that need to be made. I never thought I would have to do this and it’s the hardest thing for me to do. I love my mother!! I just want her safe and want what’s best for her ALWAYS!! My plate is overloaded and my cup done runneth over!! However I will do this to the best of my ability. I have lots of moments when I cry, I often feel overwhelmed lately, sometimes feel like the world is spinning by me and the walls closing in on me.
I recently asked my bestie to come over so I could cry on her shoulder so to speak. She has had a rough week but we finally got together last night. It was great!! We talked, we hugged, we drank some wine and just spent some much needed time together. I may not have shared ALL my feelings and EVERYTHING that is going on but we did talk a lot and I feel much better. I only wish we could’ve spent more time together but we both had to get up early in the morning for work.
Sometimes all you need is a little girl time with someone special to help get you back on track and ready to tackle the next hurdle. Today was the next hurdle and I handled it well. Thank you for your time Bestie!! I know it was a bad week for you to try to lift me up and make me feel better when you were going through your own rough patch. I’m here for you too!! Together we will get each other through it!!
The road is still long and I will have many more rough moments but for now I’m feeling a little better and just taking things one step at a time, one hurdle at a time, one issue at a time. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel yet but I know it’s there somewhere and I’ll eventually see it.
Breathe deep, exhale slowly!
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